Nazi Enthusiast Annexs Small Town

     Local Political Malaise Blamed

Bremer: Election '96 passed quietly if not unnoticed in the quiet rural town of Mentor; so quietly that no one ran for mayor or town council in this town of 500 for the third time in a dozen years.

     The problem that arose was that the town's charter specified that every fifty years, the local governmental system would be reviewed and voted upon. On the morning following Election Day, Mentor found itself without a legal government.

     No one seemed to notice. No one, that is, except Werner Koppelmeister. That afternoon, Koppelmeister, wearing a black uniform reminiscent of those worn by Nazi Stormtroopers in the Second World War, proclaimed from atop a picnic table that he was "officially annexing Mentor as part of the Greater Maple Avenue Reich."

     Warner Koppelmeister lives in the only house on Maple Avenue. Last May, the 45 year-old self-styled "military history buff and collector" pettitioned Bremer County to declare his house and street legally outside the bounds of the Town of Mentor. As Mentor had nobody in office to contest Koppelmeister, County Supervisor, Henry Tidwell approved the request.

     At a sparsly attended party rally, Koppelmeister proclaimed, "Historically, Mentor has always been a part of Maple Avenue! Under the patriotic leadership of the National Socialist Maple Avenue Worker's Party, the people of Mentor have once more returned to their glorious homeland!"
Koppelmeister celebrates his successfull annexation of Mentor.
     Mentor residents are mostly unimpressed.

     "He's a unique kind of fellow," says Ralston Dunbar, owner of Dunbar's Ag Equipment. "But I think he could have saved himself the trouble and run for mayor."

     His friend Phil Montrose is only slightly more enthusiastic.

     "He told me he's gonna do something about them low-lifes in the trailer court 'cross the way. I could go along with that."

     But inspite of becoming part of the Greater Maple Avenue Reich, some feel angered that Mentor should keep its separate identity.

     "I don't see us changing our town's official stationary," former Mayor Marvin Kelly says with a determined grin. "I fought the Killer Nazis in the Big One. I'm not gonna let this nut get away with disgracing this town!"

     Last evening, Koppelmeister made an announcement to the press stating that he has concluded 10 year non-agression pact with Russia and has no more territorial demands on Bremer County.

    





Back to this Issue Contents
3Sigil1.jpg