"DEER MAN" CAUSING CONCERN

     AFTER KENT DEER HUNT

Johnson: On Pearl Harbor Day the second county-sanctioned deer hunt in as many years took place. The Johnson County Conservation Board authorized 100 area hunters to dress in their bright orange combat gear, gather up very large rifles and blast away at the deer in F.W. Kent Park for three days, and again the following weekend. Park estimates place the number of deer in the park at slightly over 500, roaming an area between Tiffin and Oxford on Highway 6 West. Deer populations have been causing widespread complaints in the area as there are no natural predators of the animal in this county, unlike counties such as Allamakee where unsubstantiated accounts of wolves might be helping to keep those populations manageable. The deer do not fear people and regularly wander into town, disrupting traffic, eating vegetable gardens, and browsing on trees which destroy habitats and food for other animals.

     Despite arguments in favor of deer population control through sanctioned hunting seasons, animal rights activists in the area were furious about the killing. Emily Saint-Valentine, a local resident with ties to druid and wiccan groups in Iowa was most outspoken. "You can't just say, hey, there's too many of them, they can't read or write, they have no value, they aren't human, let's just shoot them to solve the problem...we did that with the American Indian, let's not do it with the deer."

     David Stiener, an area hunter and conservationist, decried Saint-Valentine's position, saying, "Hunters support wildlife. They have an active investment in maintaining natural habitats and ecosystems. The deer may not be able to read, but they ain't dumb, either. They know when it's hunting season. They hear the first volley and they know what is going on. And, besides, I never killed any Indians, nobody I know did either. What the hell is she talking about?"

     This seemingly ordinary controversy took a turn to the weird on December 8th when Stiener's mutilated body was discovered. County officials are keeping the investigation very quiet, but a mimeographed press release was sent to our offices from a group calling itself the Reformed Druids of Eastern Iowa. The release, according to what we have been able to ascertain, accurately describes the slaying of Stiener in what they call the "most important ritual of 1996." In a fasion similar to the 1984 discovery of The Lindow Man in a bog near Manchester, England, Stiener was sacrificed by force-feeding him a meal of scorched cake, then his throat was cut, his windpipe crushed, his head bludgeoned, and his face held underwater in the ice-cold Iowa River. Unlike The Lindow Man, however, Stiener did not have the serene expression on his face that might indicate he had been led to his death willingly.

     The release went on to state that the sacrifice had been part of an elaborate and ancient ritual to call out a "protector of the forest" known to both the druids of Europe and the American Indians of the Mississippi River Valley area. That protector, called the "Deer Man" is described as being centaur-like, although rather than combining the elements of a horse and man, it is the synthesis of a beautiful and vengeful warrior male and a twelve point stag. The creature has flaming red eyes and is hostile to any act of violence on woodland creatures.

     The press release warned of dire consequences should the hunt continue and urged newspapers to run special editions proclaiming that the deer hunt should stop or a terrible price would be paid. To our knowledge, the mainstream press have decided to ignore the warning.

     At the time of this printing, 18 of the 100 hunters permitted to participate in the Kent Deer Hunt are missing, as are the four members of the Charles Roberts family of Muscatine whose abandoned vehicle was found roadside on Highway 6 near the body of a dead deer appearently struck by their vehicle. Details have not been released pending investigation into the matter.