Podebrad Zoologists Search

     River Bluffs For Yeti

Lee: Dr. Clayton Webster of the Georg von Podebrad College Department of Zoology is very exid. He believes he has managed to attach a radio tracking device to the mythical creature known as a Yeti.

     "The animal is supposedly indiginous to the highlands of Nepal," says Dr. Webster. "In this country we have the same sort of animal called 'sasquatch', but I believe it's the same thing. There's evidence to confirm that the sasquatch changes from a dun-brown color to white in the winter for protection. Many North American mammals do this."

     According to Webster, his research team has gathered numerous reports that there has been a population of yeti/sasquatch living in the area of the Mississippi River for centuries, including a sighting by one time Territorial Governor Robert Lucas.

     "Using this information, we were able to narrow down an area a few miles north of Fort Madison as what seems to be their winter habitat range. We utilized other information concering their behavior and created a trap that would inject the animal with a subcutaneous transmitter. Early this month, we baited the trap with a chemical lure that smells like human menses-evidence indicates the animal is attracted to that scent for some reason."

     The trap, which is little more than a black steel box about the size of a dishwasher with a record-sized hole cut in it, proved an immediate success.

     "We checked our monitoring station three times a day, and not a day after we deployed the trap, we started getting a signal. And by the way it moves, we can safely say it isn't a raccoon or a crow."

     Dr. Webster said he would keep Third Eye informed on the results of his research.