The Legend Of The Werehog

     With the exception of the incidents in Humbug Town a century ago, most historical incidents of lycanthropy turn out to be little more than manifestations of psychotic episodes or severe glandular disorders occuring before an ignorant, back-woods populace.

     But a recent report released by the Massaraty Assylum on Tidal-Associated Genetic Recombinant Stress Syndrom (TAGRSS) describes a natural horror that could-under the right circumstances-destroy anyone's life.

     According to the report, TAGRSS is an extremely rare and fatal genetic disorder whereby the victim's genetic code fluctuates between its orginal code and an aberrant code. While the exact cause is yet unclear, one theory suggests that individuals who exhibit a peculiar sensitivity to atmospheric and tidal pressures (as with some migrain cases) could fall prey to the disorder. In these individuals, adrenalin, subdural fluid, and lymph are known to undergo intense pressure fluctuations during the earth's tidal phases, and-in some cases-sensitivity to solar electro-magnetic emmissions (sunspots and flares). If such an individual experiences extreme psychological and physical trauma, these sensitivities may sabotage the body's immunity and healing responses into releasing a torrent of malignant enzymes. These in turn corrupt the coding of messenger RNA neccessary for celluar replication. Instead of healing wounds for example, the wrong sequences are replicated, leading to terrifiying and agonzing results.

     The body changes. Sometimes over hours; sometimes in minutes. Sickening partial transformations lasting an hour or so are common. The proccess is profoundly excruiating. One case in the 1950's developed extra internal organs; another more recent case experiences a blossoming of huge pus-filled tumors that slough-off hideously after fourteen minutes.

     That case is the startling tale of August Gwilym.

     Gwilym was born in 1893 in Chase, Johnson County. Coming of age at 17, he enrolled in the U.S. Army on June 12, 1910. According to Army records, the young Gwilym was "...a large, muscular fellow of fine character and likable nature." Standing six feet tall and weighing 200 lbs, this smiling redheaded youth experienced parallyzing migrains for days at a time. While an Army doctor could have ordered his discharge, he argued and cajoled his way along, making First Sergeant by the time his unit was shipped to France in December of 1917. In France, Gwilym distinguished himself in the field. Always in the thickest of firefights, Gwilym always escaped injury-until the morning of August 27, 1918.

The WereHog

     Gwilym was evacuated to Paris. A curious detail is found in the notes of the surgeon who saved Gwilym's life:

     "Severe damage to the upper bowel but localized. Little damage to remaining kidney. Remaining adrenal strangely swollen & displaying bizarre discoloration. Spinal cord injury--some fluid leakage. Damage extent unknown. Large amount of foreign tissue (pig brain?) removed from this site. Must watch for sepsis or peritonitis."

     Despite losing 45% of his small intestine, a kidney, and a portion of his liver, Gwilym made an astounding recovery. In September, 1920, he was honorably discharged from the Army and returned to Chase.

     Around late October, 1923, Gwilym strode into a speakeasy called Muncie's in Chase. Known by many to binge heavily to dull the agonzing headaches, he loudly boasted he would turn himself into a pig at midnight. The crowd thought it was just the ramblings of a desperate drunk. Many bet against him, anyway. When midnight chimed, the throng beheld an awesome sight. Stripping his clothes, Gwilym's war-scarred body was covered by a thin, pale slime. His breathing was shallow and gurgling. Suddenly, he arched his back and grunted as thick, bristly hairs sprouted through a tough, warty hide. His lower canines lengthen by 2 inches as his face stretched and deformed, causing him to squeal in pain. Drewl streamed from his open, distending maw. His fingers shrunk, receeding into his horribly swelling forearm. His legs swelled disgustingly, thickening into brutish pillars precariously perched atop stamping trotters and supporting a sagging belly that gurgled and growled most obscenely. He farted noisily and at once snorted with glee. Several patrons fainted, a few ran out of the place. Then County Sheriff's Deputy Rus Kleist is quoted in the report that he "...vomited watching Gwylim's face wriggle and stretch into a hog snout. He had these tiny little eyes that looked right through you. I can still hear that half-human squeal and the bones in his face grinding and crunching."

     An instant later, Gwylim glared down his new pig snout at the shaken bartender and oinked for beer.

     After two years of raising money through these bizarre bar room spectacles, Gwylim admitted himself into the Massaraty Assylum. Here, under the care of the respected Viennese nerve-specialist, Dr. Nickolaus Admah, Gwylim's amazing transformations were extensively documented. Photos, blood, crude x-rays, and tissue samples were taken numerous times at several stages of the transformation to and back from hog. According to Admah's own sometimes cryptic notes, the degree and duration of Gwylim's changes grew increasingly erratic and painful. Gwylim changed more frequently and with less control. Often, parts of his body resisted changing back, requiring Admah to inject strange, experimental compounds. At one point, unable to walk or eat or control his bodily functions, Gwilym lingered in bed for over a week caught halfway between human and hog.

     On August 6, 1926, Gwylim left the Assylum against Dr. Admah's advice. Angry and frustrated at Admah's inability to cure him, Gwylim decided to stage one last appearance to generate funds to enter an Pennsylvania sanitarium. Arriving in Iowa City, he cabled an old army chum, Maximillian Yoder. Together, the two hatched plan for Gwylim's fabulous appearance as "The Werehog" at the Odd Fellows' Ballroom the night of August 12th.

     Maximillian Yoder was a Chicago imprsssario of impeccable crassness and villainy. He advertised the show as a three hour spectacle of the amazing, featuring five acts running 6 months and insured the entire production against early closure for $55,000. But the real plan was to move Gwylim's act from finale to second in the show. There, his transformation would culminate in unspeakable savagery by taking one of the dancing girls hostage. Pandemonium and chaos would ensue. Whereupon, a gang of stage hands attired as police would scramble on stage and shoot the werehog dead with blanks. The audience, upset at the bloody spectacle, would flee the ballroom and the show would end that night. Since there were no other acts, Gwylim would get an equal share of the gate and vanish into a sanitarium in Pennsylvania. Yoder, meanwhile, would collect the shows' insurance money.

     Though Yoder and Gwylim practised the tawdry drama with the girl, Barbara Gist, until it ran like clock work, the entire scheme hinged on Gwylim.

     But cosmic circumstances conspired against him that night. August 12, 1926 featured a full moon, Jupiter and Mars at opposition with the earth, and the largest Perseid Meteor Shower in over fifty years. Add to this, the impact of what has since been determined to be a series of giant solar flares which disrupted radio signals world wide for days afterwards. Tidal and electromagnetic forces battered Gwylim's helplessly vunerable body all day. Witnesses quoted in the Iowa City Republic-Star claimed he "hid in the darkest part of the Ballroom's basement all day, screaming and squealing obscenely, throwing things and crashing against the walls in a most alarming way." Yoder himself went to draw Gwylim out, but he came charging from the depths, cursing and pale with fright.

     Richard Parson, a boy then, was sent to warn Gwylim five minutes before his appearance. During an interview, the septigenarian recounted, "When he didn't holler, I entered that dark little room. There was a little light from behind me. He huddled naked in a corner, sobbing hysterically in a pool of blood-it didn't know where it came from-no marks on him. Covered with-it was awful. I wanted to run, it looked unholy. But he was so weak and he looked liked he'd been curshed-like he'd been whipped or beaten. So, I pulled his arm-it was slick with the wet-he got to his feet and I let him lean on me. We went upstairs to find help. When we got there, he lurched away from me and got onstage. Started screaming like-God, that scream! The dancing girls ran off and the audience went nuts-hell, the man was naked and screaming like a stuck-oh, for the love of Jesus-I can't-no more, please. "

     According to the Republic-Star Gwylim went rigid, his back arched and crackled, bristly hairs sprouted. Drewl cascaded from his mouth as he twisted his head this way and that, screaming a "tired, wailing scream." Gwylim's nose and mouth lost their distinct forms and writhed. His teeth and mouth jutted a fist-width forwards, then jerked back. Blood started pouring from his nose.

     A news photographer foolishly scampered to within arm's reach of the writhing Gwylim and snapped his picture with a large bright flash bulb.

     Gwylim screeched and knocked the camera man sprawling to the stage. He vaulted onto the stunnned man and tore a fist size hole in his throat with his sprouting teeth. Giggling in beserk delight, blood and drewl streaming down his chin and chest, his whole anatomy wriggling, growing and stretching then shrinking. Eye-witness, Lester Mathias, interiewed by the Republic-Star stated, said, "It was as if he was a bag and things were trying to tear out of him. A horrid, terrible vision, but you couldn't look away!"

     At last, Gwylim ran shrieking from the stage and locked himself into a closet. The police arrived and armed with fireaxes, two patrolmen broke down the closet door. Gwylim had vanished.

     But the floor was covered with an oozing blood-flecked pool of pale slime.

     Since Gwylim, Massaraty has documented only twenty other cases of TAGRSS. Though all shared the same mortality, none have demonstrated the same severity as Gwylim's case. In fact, specially preserved samples of Gwylim's tissue at Massaraty are documented as still being extremely active. Instruments measuring electrical activity show the tissue generated .6 volts during the1986 passing of Halley's comet and recent near misses of several large asteroids.

     Sensitive migrain sufferers, generally, should not worry about contracting TAGRSS. As stated, it is very, very rare. But should you be driving one bright August night and try to pass a tractor trailer loaded with hogs bound for the killing floor...

     Sources:

     "Man Murdered At Odd Fellows Ballroom Show as Audience Watches", The Iowa City Republic-Star,Iowa City, IA. August 13, 1926, pp. 1-2. (Third Eye Over IowaArchives)