CARP FALLS BAFFLE RESIDENTS

     "That's a load of carp," said Polk County Sheriff Andy Marduke when questioned on the subject.

     Explanations of the phenomenon range from an implausible whirlwind theory to an ill-conceived publicity stunt for the CARP Festival. No airplane was spotted on that strange day, and no pilot has come forward to admit dropping a cargo of live fish from his aircraft. Fish lucky enough to fall into the river swam away without injury, but the majority met a messy end. The Iowa Department of Natural Resources and the U.S. Fish and Game Agency have said they are monitoring the matter.

     Although the CARP Festival was not held this year, the anniversary was marked in Hopkin's Grove by a repeat of the finny rainfall. This time, carp fell from the sky before huge crowds of onlookers. The ensuing fish fry was enjoyed by all present and there is talk of making this an annual community event, so long as the carp continue to cooperate.

     Not everyone is pleased by the bounty from Heaven. Reverend Alcott, pastor of the local Episcopal Church, decried the fish fall as far short of miraculous. He says the fish-falls are due either to some technological malfeasance or diabolical doings by certain local influences he declined to publicly name.