State Health Inspectors Indict Family Business

     According to the official report, the Peltier Family practiced part of a native South American ritual in the preparation of their corn dogs in which they chewed fresh corn and spat it and copious amonts of saliva into a large steel bowl. Over the bowl, a sacrificed rooster was hung upside down to allow blood to drip into the bowl. The family's pet boa constrictor was then ritually bathed in the stuff and allowed to kill and feed upon several large mice.

     Afterwards, the ritually prepared corn paste was prepared with hotdogs and served to patrons of the eatery. Though no consumer ever reported ill effects from the Peltier's bizzarre preparations, many patrons said they were surprized at the closure and professed the corn dog returant often filled them with a strangly uplifting euphoria.