BLOODSUCKING ANTS OVERRUN IOWA TOWN


Wapello: Hordes of bloodthirsty ants, of the genus Solenopsis, have besieged the rural community of Ayersville this summer with deadly results. Early in this spring, Homer Johnston discovered a mound of dirt rising in a fallow field he had been inspecting for planting soy beans next year. The mound was about six feet high and upon close inspection was teeming with a large variety of ant. He called in the I owa Department of Natural Resources (DNR), who told him that to the best of their knowledge, eradicating the insects and plowing over the mound would have no environmental impact.

     Johnston doused the enormous ant hill with kerosene and set it ablaze, then the following day took a tractor with an end loader and leveled the mound. Far from being eradicated, the insects swarmed over the tractor and devoured the farmer in seconds, leaving only moist bones seated at the wheel of his sputtering vehicle. Now, the voracious creatures are on the march, leaving a barren trail in their wake. They attack all forms of life, engulfing and stripping flesh from cats, dogs, turtles, chickens, and anything else in their path. Residents of the town have attempted to fight back with poison, fire, and boiling water, but to no effect. Families have been urged to flee the Ayersville vicinity.

     At this printing, 70% of the town had been invaded, with low ant hills every ten to twenty feet. Because a colony of the ants has invaded Ayersville's Armanenschaft Cemetery, citizens have been forced to hastily re-bury their late loved ones in nearby Bryson.





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