Retiree Foretells Futures In Song

Story: Albert "Zip" Reuben of Johnson's Grove is one of those retired guys who sits in his driveway and waves. But he's not saying hello; he's telling fortunes.

     But he can only perform such miracles while singing "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain".

     "I just got bored after I retired," says the 70 year old former die-maker. "Thought I'd do something positive for people. Started wavin' to folks. One mornin' about five years ago, I was kinder hummin' that song an' wavin' to some poor guy an' sang somethin' like 'git hit by an eighteen -wheeler when she comes, when she comes'. The guy got plowed into by a rig! Seriously! I ain't makin' this up!"

     Over the past years, Reuben has for-sung weddings, adulterous affairs, divorces, births and deaths-indeed the entire gamut of human experience. Neighbors confirm his bizarre claim. Emma Keitelman, 55, tells of the time Reuben predicted her son winning the Iowa State Lottery.

     "I was walking by on the side walk when he saw me and he sung out 'Ron'll be rollin' in piles of money when she comes, when she comes!' That night, my son Ronny called and said he'd won twelve million dollars. I couldn't believe it!"

     "I don't know how I do it!" Reuben laughs He suddenly grows sullen and whispers, "I kinda wish I didn't, though. I sang something too weird yesterday. Scared me shitless, I'm telling ya."

     Unfortunately, Reuben refuses to say just what he recently sang about. We may never know-or we will discover it all too soon.