The Men In Black Come To Putnam

Fayette: I've never written to a magazine in my life, and I don't know if I ever will after this. But I saw something weird last month that I just hope you guys know something about. It all took place where I work, at the Shop and Split in Putnam. It's the one next to Davis Motors on Trumble Street, not the one on the other end of town by the mall. Anyway, so December fifth I was working the afternoon shift there after school (I'm a junior at John Dee High, go Falcons!) and having a pretty miserable time of it, as I remember. I had to stock all the canned goods that day. You'd think stupid Cambells could make a lighter can, a case of those things is so friggin' heavy. I got all the stocking done about 4:30 or so, when the sun was just starting to tip over the horizon.

     At that point I had had about three or four customers walk through the place all day. One old guy, like in his thirties, bought a twelve-pack of Schlitz and a pack of smokes, a lady in her fifties with her granddaughter with her got like three eggs and a package of Velveeta. You get the idea. Totally uninteresting. Anyway, so when I finished stocking, I went behind the counter and sat down to read a guitar magazine.

     So that's when these two guys come in. They look like they belong in a Tarantino film, you know? With black suits and thin black ties, short hair all slicked back. They come in all cool like and I asked, "Hey, you guys have gas out there?" One guy, the one with the lighter hair says, "No," and it was like the most neutral dead-pan thing I ever heard. Then I thought these guys were FBI agents or something. They start walking around the store, so I look out the window to check out there car. I see it all right. Pulled right up in front of the newspaper racks, there it is, and it is the most black car you have ever laid eyes on. No dust or mud or anything. It looked cool, especially with the tinted windows. Hell, I couldn't even see inside the car at all, not even shadows, they were tinted so dark.

     These guys walk every inch of the store and finally come back to the counter and stand there, staring at me, not saying anything for the longest time. That's when I see something that freaks me out a little. The dark-haired guy, the one on the left, has one of his sleeves hiked up past the wrist. Now I thought these fellas looked a little pale before, but up above this guy's wrist he was bone-goddam-white! Not pale, but white! And then I notice that there's something else, a little wire-looking thing stuck in his arm. He's not cut or anything, there's just a wire sticking out of him.

     So this guy says, "Have you seen a man, five feet seven inches tall, one-hundred forty pounds, middle-aged, come in here?" And the other says, "He was wearing glasses, going bald, was wearing a green checkered shirt and carrying a paper bag?" Of course I said no, because I hadn't seen anybody like that all day and hell, I really wanted these guys out. They paused a long time again, and that's when I smelled them. They had a kind of, I don't know, musty, fishy odor. Like fish gone bad. It wasn't a real strong smell, and I of course didn't comment on it, though I kind of wanted to. Finally the lighter-haired one says, "Thanks for your time," and they take off. You want to know something else weird? When they got in their car and started it up, it remained completely silent. No engine turning over, no rumble of exhaust, nothing. I guess it could have been one of those electric cars they've invented, but it looked like a Caddie to me.

     So there you have it. Not much of a story, I know, but I figure it may tie into those black helicopters somehow, or maybe something else you've seen. Don't worry, if I see these guys again, I'll let you know.