IOWA'S SENSUOUS CZECH VISIONARY,
SISTER KASI

Dear Kasi,

     There are a lot of fad diets out there right now, and people are always telling me to eat this or that for strength and health. Are there magical diets that will help more than the "food pyramid"?

     Concerned over Ingestibles in Toddville

     Dear Concerned,

     You're right that whatever you put inside you will affect what you are and what you do. Just as some people say that every action is political, so too is every action to some extent magical. I do not advocate you necessarily do what I do without undergoing the extreme purification and training I have had at the feet of many exalted masters in the Art, and of course I have to legally advise you to consult a physician before starting any new diet or exercise regimen. Every morning for strength, I eat a large black spider between two slices of bread. The Gall of a cock, celandine juice and honey combine in a nice tea that sharpens the sight, and the curative powers of apple cider vinegar and water is never to be underestimated.

     Dear Kasi,

     Who or what is Kundalini?

     Stumped in Cedar Falls

     Dear Stumped,

     Good question! Kundalini is Sanskrit for "snake", or "serpent power", so named because it lies coiled like a snake in the root chackra at the base of the spine. In Tantra Yoga it is an aspect of shakti, which is divine female energy and the consort of Shiva. You can awaken the spirit of Kundalini by yogic practices or sometimes by a passionate kissing of the base of the spine or below. This will send the enormous power of the psycho-spiritual energy, the very essence of consciousness, up from the resting place and into the region of the Pineal Gland. Once awakened, bizarre physical sensations can occur, such as pain, clairaudience, visions, brilliant lights, super lucidity, physical prowess, ecstasy, bliss, and transcendence of self. Kundalini is perceived as a being of liquid light or fire. Awakening the Kundalini within the female is easier than in the male, and it is easier for the female to control and keep awake, but either a man or woman can use this feminine energy; it just takes discipline. I would caution that yogis stress that the body must be properly attuned for Kundalini, as a premature or explosive awakening can cause insanity or death.

     Dear Kasi,

     I am an expectant mother and this is my first pregnancy. I am very frightened of the pain involved in childbirth, but refuse to subject myself to drugs. Is there a remedy or spell that won't have an adverse effect on the baby, but will alleviate my discomfort and calm my nerves?

     Round and Fearful in Mantua

     Dear Round and Fearful,

     Yes, of course there is an alternative to drugs and the doctor's knife. First make a paste from crushed daisies and apply it liberally to the abdominal region, this will lesson the pain. When the dung of a cow is suffumigated under the chair of a woman in labor, the birth is made very easy. For your nerves, take the dried droppings of chickens and grind it into a powder, then take just a pinch of it while eating prunes. I would also suggest finding the services of a pagan midwife, but make your inquiries discreetly. They are not usually listed in the Yellow Pages.