WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE CROWS IN

     IOWA CITY?


Johnson: Iowa City's crow population has been growing exponentially for several years. Each winter more and more of the birds flock to the university town in loud cackling murders. Corvus Brachyrhnchos, the American Crow, is the most common type seen. These large black birds are filling trees and lining rooftops in the thousands every night.

     "They will eat anything, trash, vomit, and road kill," remarked a member of Iowa City Animal Control. "We don't dare take the dead animals away from them, they attack you if you try. We just let them eat and when they are no longer interested in the bones, we come get them. The weird thing is....and I mean, really weird, is that some of them have these eyes that kind of...I don't know, smolder. Kind of a dark red, and some of them don't look quite right...I'd get fired if they knew I was telling you this, but they don't look like they are alive."

     Zombie crows? At first we were more than skeptical, but it now seems that there is a real possibility that some of the birds now flying over Iowa City have migrated here from Lee County. Long time readers may recall a report last year (see:The Crawling Carrion of County Road Q, May, 1996, Vol. 3, Issue #5) where a tape made of a missing woman named Anna Kimball described an area off the main roads where dead animals seemed to reanimate and pursue living flesh. Although the report remains unconfirmed, it is a fact that the entire stretch of road was closed off from the public by the National Guard and that the area was subsequently burned in a controlled fire. Is it possible that cadaverous crows were able to take flight and leave the area before being consumed in the conflagration?

     University of Iowa Hospitals would neither confirm nor deny reports that they treat any victims of an attack by crows differently than any other animal attack, however, we have noticed that there is one area of the Emergency room which seems to be sectioned off from the rest, with two armed guards always posted at the door. No one enters or leaves that area of the hospital without full body protective anti-contamination suits.

     Do not under any circumstances attempt to capture a zombie crow on your own. Any reports of unusual crow activity should be reported to the authorities immediately. Do not be surprised if they pretend not to know what you are talking about. They must assume this pose in order to stop widespread panic. All vital information will be recorded and passed to the appropriate channels, regardless of how they seem to react to you. Of course,Third Eye welcomes your reports as well.





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