IOWA'S SENSUOUS CZECH VISIONARY,
SISTER KASI

Dear Kasi,

     I have epilepsy and wondered if there were a magical or holistic method of treatment.

     Suffering Seizures in Ricketts

     Dear Suffering,

     Bear in mind that I am not a doctor and am not offering medical advice. I am a witch, and offering only testimony as to what has been used by practitioners of the Craft for centuries. This mixture is useful for epilepsy, dropsy, jaundice, and kidney stones:

     Seeds of parsley, fennel, anis, and carraway, each one ounce

     Roots of parsley, Burnet, Saxifrage, and carraway, each an ounce and a half.

     Bruise the seeds and wash the roots cut small; leave them overnight in white wine and in the morning boil away 1/3 in an earthen vessel, strain and clean. Take 4 ounces in the morning and evening being careful not to drink anything for three hours afterwards. If this does not work, or the materials are unavailable, try boiling an egg in your own urine and then burying it in an anthill. As the egg is consumed, so will be your disease.

     Kasi, Can You Help?

     I'm a fisherman, and I wondered if you could tell me a way that I could increase my catch without having to use all them new fangled and expensive lures and bait paints.

     Angling in Seventy-six Center

     Dear Angling,

     Here is a fool proof method of catching a big fish. Fist chew on a small piece of a Venus' Flytrap, then spit it onto your bait and hook. Now recite the following incantation while facing the stream or river:

Listen! Now you settlements have drawn near to hearken. Where you have gathered in the foam you are moving about as one. You Blue Cat and others, I have come to offer you freely the white food. Let the paths from every direction recognize each other. Our spittle shall be in agreement. Let your spittle and mine be together as we go about. You fish have become prey and there shall be no loneliness. Your spittle has become agreeable. I am called swimmer. Yu!

     Dear Sister,

     Can you tell me how to make sure that he is true? He's the dreamiest, and I just know the other girls at school want to nibble his buns.

     Keepin' My Man in Spencer

     Dear Keepin'

     This is the only way, take a donkey's ear and boil it in some oil. Then feed him the liquid. He will obey you as a donkey does his master...and if you have ever owned a donkey, you can judge for yourself the value of this spell!

     Dear Kasi,

     I want to be able to see into the future and know the answer to many questions. I don't have the gift of prophecy and know of no oracles in my town. Is there anything I can do?

     Blinded in New Boston

     Dear Blinded,

     Of course, there is always something! Get a looking glass, the kind that is sold in most stores. Inscribe the following characters on it in some indelible way: "S. Solam S. Tattler S. Echogordner Gematur".

     Next take the glass and bury it at the crossing of two paths, during an uneven hour. On the third day thereafter, go back and take it up out of the ground at the same hour you buried it. BE WARNED!! You should not be the first one to look in the mirror. Best to show it to a dog or cat first.