Burglars Steal Veterinary Drug

Johnson: On January 15, Iowa City Police reported that several Iowa City-Coralville Area veterinary clinics had been recently burglarized. In each break-in, thieves took a single drug, ketamine (also known as Ketalar) which is a chemical variant of Phencyclidine or PCP. Ketamine is now used as anesthetic on animals, but was once widely used as an anesthetic on humans for many years until its use was discontinued during the Vietnam War. Besides anaesthetizing patients, subjects experience a euphoric dissociative effect as if they were removed from reality. Amnesia during the time the drug remains in the patient's system is also common. U.S. Army doctors discovered that up to one third of their patients, often wounded front line combat soldiers, became aggressive and experienced violent hallucinations as the drug wore off.

     The dissociative and amnesiac effects are so strong, that some patients claimed to have had near death experiences or even been kidnapped by aliens.

     The ketamine thefts comes hard on the heels of our own internal investigation regarding the Alternative Reality Project or ARP headed by Third Eye Over Iowa contributor, William Posey IV. ARP began supplying Third Eye offices with a free coffee substitute in October in an effort to help offset the monthly cost of publishing this magazine (see: Letter From The Editor, October, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #10). ARP also announced its discovery of a new xanthine-type stimulant dubbed I-Gazi 1 (see: ARP Makes Progress, October, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #10) which reportedly heightened senses to a fantastic level of acuity. Posey himself pointed out that subjects taking elevated doses of I-Gazi 1 experienced brief bouts of remote viewing or "glimpses in the world of the dead."

     Through our unwitting trust, a pageant of strange and disturbing events took shape. The first instance where by Third Eye Editorial Staff noticed something was wrong occurred scarcely a week after ARP first introduced their brew to our offices. People who partook of the dark, sweet-smelling liquid tended to be more alert but jittery and irritable. Arguments among some our more contentious reporters only narrowly avoided erupting into full blown fist fights. Several staffers complained the office was too noisy; not only could they hear everyone in the office breathing but that everyone was breathing in unison. Two executive secretaries also admitted experiencing command auditory hallucinations which told them to delete the computer files for both the December, 97 and January, 98 issues. Understandably, this delayed publication of these two issues. As weeks passed, most of the office staff were unable to sleep normally at night and instead had horrible recurring visions. Others experienced periods of amnesia or missing time while at work during various periods of the day.

     On January 17, H.L. Conover, our Business Manager, found our Advertising Manager, Shirley Kopaloff (an avid coffee drinker), slumped back in her chair flapping her hands vigorously in front of her face and drool cascading from her mouth. When he attempted to rouse her from the strange trance, she screamed "Be gone! I stand at the threshold of the Chamber of the Blood Wizards; at the very Nexus of Crisis and Origin of Storms! I have swept aside the veil of Time and in another moment---yes! Yes! All too clear now! Come, speak to me gentle shade!" Where upon, she screamed again, flapping her hands all the while before her face. Suddenly, she attacked Conover with a heavy scotch tape dispenser and broke his jaw. She became so violent that it took three other men to restrain her. Paramedics took her to the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics. Unable to remember anything of her outburst, she has since been released from full restraint and isolation and is now under observation. We hope to have her back at work with us soon.

     Meanwhile, the Editorial Staff quickly conceded that office staff complaints could no longer be shrugged off as flu. Every drop and stain left by the ARP brew was carefully collected and sent to Tesla Research Labs for analysis. One senior staff member purchased a new coffee maker and five pounds of coffee on his expense account and upon presenting the lot to Editor In Chief, Hans Abbadon, said, "Expense be damned!"

     On January 20, Tesla Labs revealed that the samples of ARP brew contained several different mixtures of peyotl-based hallucinogens and included the new xanthine I-Gazi 1 as well as ketamine. The analysis concluded that these chemicals and concentrations were identical to those confiscated from the home of Horace Brown of Fredonia, IA last year (see: Farmer Brown's Time Machine, January, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #1). Based on this information, we have concluded that who ever was responsible for these hallucinogenic poisonings either had a relationship with Horace Brown or was somehow directly involved with the "Akashic Historians of the Ab. Gesellschaft FFF", an organization to which Brown belonged.

     While Posey's own words admit that the ARP has experimented with phencyclidines (see: The Real ARP, August, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #8), he insists he had no knowledge of these recent events or that the original formula for the ARP brew had been tampered with. He does concede, however, that an ARP member may be conducting research unsanctioned by the rest of the group. As the identity of the group's members is secret, he both refused to identify the person he suspects or to cooperate in any attempt to investigate ARP.

     As always, Third Eye Over Iowa remains committed to informing our readers about our investigations and welcomes every assistance.