Pig With Third Eye Goes Into

     Witness Protection Program


Clayton: Nearly a year ago a cryptozoological oddity named Rudy was discovered on the farm of Scott Vorwold of Marquette, Iowa. Rudy was unique in that the little porker had a third eye in the center of its head, as well as two snouts. Its Cyclops-like middle eye cannot see, in the conventional sense at least, but otherwise the pig seemed normal and was expected to mature among the other swine and was deemed suitable for slaughter.

     Theories were wild and numerous in the small river community. Many suggested that these were akin to the Devil Dogs of Dubuque County (see: Devil Dogs Of Dubuque County, March, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #3). Some said that the pig was the Anti-Christ, or some sort of mutated living mobile home for demons. Most stopped short of accusing Vorwold of sorcery or the commission of evil deeds himself, although Satan worship is not uncommon among farmers in that part of the state.

     I had planned to make the trip to see Rudy myself, however the meeting will now never take place. "A brazen follower of God", suspected to be Father Alcott of the All Saints Episcopal Church in Hopkins Grove, was apprehended breaking into the Vorwold farm and performing an exorcism on the deformed animal. This is how the media caught wind of the story and the whole thing caught fire.

     Rudy was secretly transported out of Iowa last month for his own protection. Rudy was purchased from Vorwald by the animal rights advocacy group Pigs Without Partners, based in Los Angeles. Citing a need to shield the pig from slaughter, religious zealots, exploitative talk show hosts, and a resurgence in traveling freak shows, they have changed Rudy's name at least once ("Ditto" was the last known alias) and in a weird game of "hide the pig" he was moved from state to state until reportedly arriving in California. Pigs Without Partners maintains a 750 acre farm there specifically for endangered pigs such as Rudy, and possibly many other cryptozoological entities.

     The organization's press statement said that the pig's new home will include a custom built pig house, complete with a swimming pool and round the clock care.

     Alcott is not dissuaded, and says that he must complete the exorcism or we are all doomed. The B. Lavatsky Museum has put in a bid for the animal's body when it should finally expire so that it may be permanently ensconced in their "Animal Oddities" exhibit, but PWP is expected to decline. It is further rumored that other anonymous Hopkins Grove residents are attempting to obtain the pig. Their motives remain as mysterious as their identities.





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