Third Eye Publisher to Sue Koppelmeister Campaign

Polk: Branding Werner Koppelmeister a "worthless cur", Third Eye Over Iowa publisher Hans Abbadon announced his publication would sue the colorful Gubenatorial Candidate for trademark infringement. Abbadon charged that Koppelmeister's Campaign Newsletter, Third Reich Over Iowa, purposely infringed on the name and copied the front cover of Third Eye Over Iowa in an attempt to confuse the general public.

     Said Abbadon in a written statement, "Third Eye Over Iowa is not, nor has it ever supported authoritarian political extremists of any stripe. Likewise, unless they pose a direct threat to public safety, we have remained neutral. But this act by Mr. Koppelmeister is a direct assault upon Third Eye's journalistic integrity and it's pocket book---and that I cannot abide!"

     Koppelmeister Campaign Manager, Skip McPherson, meantime, characterised Abbadon's objections as "frivilous".

     "The Supreme Candidate doesn't have time to deal with the niggling wishy-washy sensibilities of tabloid journalism. We are moving forward; we are focusing our energies on the real issues facing the True Iowan Folk---readying them for the new millenium. What are the other candidates doing?"

     "Koppelmeister is a racist. Intolerant trash like him oughta be lined up against a wall and shot. I want every Iowan to know not only that the guy is out there running for public office, but just what a danger he is to the People of Iowa."