Peelers Varsity Baseball Team

     Suspended For Ritual Urine Baths

Palo Alto: The Univeristy of Emmetsburg Men's Varsity Baseball Team was suspended this past weekend by Unversity Sports Officials, thereby forfeiting the afternoon game against the University of Northern Iowa and ending the team's baseball season. The action followed on the Friday, August 2 discovery of a "pre-game ritual urine bath" in the men's locker room by U of E' Coaching Head, Otis Bacon.

     While an obviously disgusted Coach Bacon refused to comment on the occurance in the men's locker room, another witness interviewed on condition of anonyminity, described the incident.

     "We walked in and heard this raucous noise coming from the back of the locker room-you always do just before a big game. Well, we got back there and saw the whole team in the shower. Naked. No water running. But they'd blocked up the shower drain and were jumping and splashing around in about ten inches of pee. And two of 'em were up on other guys' shoulders and peeing on their team mates. We just stood there, totally shocked. They didn't see us right away and just kept dancing and peeing away, laughing like crazy. God, it stank. I thought Coach Bacon was gonna kill 'em. Somebody should have."

     A special review board had been set up by the University and it is unknown whether the team members face expulsion or not. Asked if the players' parents and guardians had been notified of the incident, a univeristy spokesperson declined further comment.