MYSTERIOUS ATTACKS BLAMED ON

    "PTERANODONS"

Palo Alto: Following upon a story recently investigated by this reporter involving the sightings of prehistoric flying reptiles in northwest Iowa, events there have taken a more sinister turn . Campers, hikers, fishermen and others have begun to report isolated instances of aerial assaults by the so-called Cretaceous survivors, though, with the exception of one instance, these "attacks" have been more in the nature of territorial defense.

     The most recent incident, and perhaps the most horrifying from the alleged victim's point of view, occurred sometime last Friday afternoon, as described by witnesses, and took place at the extreme northern tip of Emmetsburg's Five Island Lake.

     According to Emmetsburg Police Sergeant Angelo O'Malley, the alleged victim was one Koonus LeBeouf, a self-styled courier de bois who tried to live a nineteenth century mountain-man lifestyle in the woods and hills that border the northern edge of the lake.

     "I'd just gotten off duty, "says O'Malley. "I was on my way to the cruiser Borealis for rehearsal of the Palo Alto Operetta Workshop production of The Pirates of Penzance. I'm their lead tenor, and have the part of Frederick, you see. Anyway, I was driving up to the winter mooring on Lakeroad Drive, when suddenly this guy came runnin' out of the woods onto the road, yelling and waving his arms. So I pulled over.

     "This guy's as white as a sheet. He grabs me and says, 'Officer, you gotta help! One of them flyin' things is killin' Koonus!' So, I grabbed my Glock 9mm, and followed him into the woods. While heading up the hill, which is quite a climb, I heard Koonus screaming stuff in French, most of it was curses. Then I heard a horrible screeching, and three gunshots that sounded like an old black-powder weapon."

     When O'Malley and the distraught citizen reached the clearing atop of the hill, they found "a scene from a horror movie," said O'Malley.

     "Stuff everywhere! I mean, it looked like a huge battle had been fought. The guy's teepee, gear, pelts, everything! Strewn everywhere. LeBeouf was all torn up and this, well I guess it must have been one of those pterodactyl things, it was flopping around squawking. LeBeouf was near dead, I think, so I ran back down the hill and called it in on my car radio. It couldn't have been more than a minute and a half, cause I was heading back up, when these two vans with sirens came screaming down the road and two helicopters appeared over head, and landed in the area I had just come from.

     "I thought, wow, Emergency Services got here real fast. The vans pulled up behind my black and white, and these clean-cut, blond guys jumped out. One of them came up to me, and saluted. He asked me in this German accent what happened. Without thinking, I told him. He said, 'Thank you, Sergeant. We'll take care of it', and he and the others ran up the hill. Then Officer Rodriguez arrived and I told him what happened; and me and him went back up after these Germans."

     When Sergeant O'Malley and his backup, Officer Murphy Rodriguez, reached the site, they found no sign of either LeBeouf or the pteranodon, and the two helicopters were already flying rapidly off to the Northeast.

     "The German guys were policing up the area," said Officer Rodriguez. "When we protested that they were disturbing a potential crime scene, the guy that talked to the Sarge flashed some kind of US Government ID, told us not to worry, and that everything was fine. Well, by then it was almost 4 PM, and the Sarge and I had to get to rehearsal. I'm playing Edward the Police Sergeant in The Pirates of Penzance, so we figured we might as well file our reports and head to the ship."

     Further inquiries by this reporter have turned up even more remarkable facts.

     "It's mostly territorial defense instinct," Dooley said. "You know, stomping around their nesting sites. But these big ones, they've been getting downright unruly. Do you remember the one that Milo O'Shaunessey reported? Well, this time, it swooped right down at him, carrying a fairly good sized chunk of limestone in its talons. Dropped it right on his bass boat, like it was dive-bombing him! Just like those Stukas in the old newsreels. Damn near creamed old Milo. Sank his boat."

     "These are the original journals and diaries of Colonel Stephen Watts Kearney, 1st Dragoons, who explored the territory in 1835. Here's a diary of Captain Nathan Boone, 1st Dragoons, son of famous frontiersman Daniel Boone , and who accompanied Kearney and Major Sir Patrick Rodney O'Neil, one of the original settlers of Emmetsburg in 1841."

     A perusal of Colonel Kearney's journal revealed nothing about prehistoric creatures, except perhaps for an oblique reference to "large soaring creatures, perhaps larger than eagles." which shadowed the expedition from the site of present-day Fort Dodge, up to the Minnesota border, near modern day Lake Okoboji.

    Captain Boone's diary revealed even more tantalizing evidence, not only of the existence, or rather survival, of these creatures, but also of their more aggressive nature:

"May 12, 1835, Iowa Territory. Shortly after the troop finished their breakfast this morning, I was ordered by the Colonel to take a detail ahead to scout the next day's route of march as far as the big lake the guides had reported (Five Island Lake). I made up a roster of Lieutenant Erlich, Sgt. Zimmerman, Cpl. O'Meara, ten dragoons and three of the Indian guides, White Glove, Big Spotted Dog, and Buffalo Soldier With Big Nose.

     "After leaving the camp, we rode approximately seven miles through a mixture of prairie which gave way to lightly wooded timber. There was abundant water and forage for the horses, abundant game, and the route proved easy for the column and the expedition's mountain howitzer.

     "About two miles from the southern shore of the lake, I ordered a brief halt to off-saddle and rest the horses, cook noon coffee and bacon, and sent the three Indians on ahead to scout the rest of the way to the lake.

     "Three quarters of a hour after the Indians had departed, I was preparing to order 'Boots and Saddles', when one of the private soldiers raised a shout; two of the guides, White Glove and Big Spotted Dog, were galloping back toward our bivouac as quickly as their horses could fly. When they reached us, we noted that their animals were well-lathered and the Indians themselves quite agitated. White Glove, their leader, kept jumping about, and pointing with his musket toward the lake shore from whence they had just come, all the while talking rapidly in his own tongue, which I, having been raised on the Creek and Cherokee dialects of my native Kentucky, find mostly incomprehensible.

     "After a short while, Sgt. Zimmerman managed to calm White Glove sufficiently to get him to tell us, in what little English he possessed, what had transpired.

     "From what we were able to discern, as the trio patrolled the lake shore, something terrible had happened to Buffalo Soldier With Big Nose.

     "'Bad Medicine! Bad Medicine!' he shouted, pointing at the lake. I instantly determined that an investigation was warranted, particularly if hostile tribesmen were about, and forthwith ordered Lieutenant Erlich, Cpl. O'Meara, five of the men and the two guides into the saddle...we emerged from the woods onto the broad south shore of the lake. After searching the area for nearly three-quarters of an hour, we found nothing of the poor Indian guide save his horse, a fine Paint animal, grazing placidly by the edge of the timber, unhurt except that its saddle had slipped and was beneath the animal's belly. We also found the old Army shako that Buffalo Soldier With Big Nose habitually wore, and what appeared to be large blood trails, but of this we could not be sure.

     "Just as I was giving the order to return to the forward bivouac, we heard a furious burst of flapping wings overhead. I looked skyward in time to see a great winged shape fly in silhouette across the face of the sun. I did not myself see the actual bird, if that is indeed what it was.

     "Upon our return to the base camp, I informed Colonel Kearney of what had transpired, and had the soldiers and the two surviving guides describe what they had seen. The Colonel determined that what we had seen was probably a giant condor, such as lived in the Mexican territory of California, although I expressed doubt that they ranged this far east.

     "As to the disappearance of the Indian Buffalo Soldier With Big Nose, one can only speculate."

     Clearly, some winged form of wildlife was then and is now being disturbed by increased human activity on the northern tip of the lake. Though local media have so far regarded attacks by prehistoric beast with brazen scepticism, they warn campers and other tourists to the lakes to avoid that area of Five Island Lake.

     As to the suspicious involvement of federal government equipment and personal in the area according to local law enforcement officers, this reporter has yet to receive any answer from the Iowa Department of Natural Resources, the US Department of the Interior, the Forestry Service of the US Department of Agriculture, or the US Army Corps of Engineers.