Greater Maple Avenue Reich Opens

     Summer Concentration Camp

     Mentor Mothers Against Drunk Driving Applaud Facility

Bremer: On August 1, Werner Koppelmeister, Supreme Leader of the Greater Maple Avenue Reich and the town of Mentor, IA appeared before a sparse but enthusiastic crowd at the heavy iron gates of the newly established "Greater Maple Avenue Substance Rehabilitation Summer Internment Camp".

     Koppelmeister, attired in a tan sport coat and black trousers announced the facility's opening, saying, "Today, here in Mentor, we take back our streets from drug addicts, pot smoking bourgeois intellectuals, communist vermin, and the disgusting subhuman drunken driver who arrogantly weaves through our streets, paving his way with the mangled bodies of our young people!"

     Also present was the Chairperson of Mentor Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MMADD), Eva Brown, who read from a prepared statement, "Mentor's Mothers applaud Mr. Koppelmeister's actions this day to protect our families. While some of us may not agree with his political style, I think we can all agree that he alone has taken a bold step where our elected officials have smiled and nodded. This substance rehabilitation facility will send a clear message throughout the state that drunken driving or any other substance abuse is not tolerated in our town."

     The 1 acre razorwire ringed camp was built in late May after a Mentor Highschool Graduation Party turned into a weekend beerfest and resulted in numerous alcohol related accidents in Mentor. No one was killed but several new graduates had to be hospitalized. Residents, alarmed at the enormity of the weekend binge and frightened by rumors of roving gangs coming to town, demanded immediate action.

     Local attorney and representative for the American Civil Liberties Union, Meyer Watkins, virulently opposes the facility saying it violates both human and civil rights of Mentor's citizenry, particularly Amendments 4 through 8 of the Bill of Rights.

     "The camp is triangular, like a US Army firebase in the Vietnam War. It's surrounded by two electrified 10-foot tall fences topped with razorwire. At each point, there's a guard tower with a search light. There's no barracks, just 3 open sheds with roofs and a concrete slab. No mail, no phone calls, no television or radio, no books, no cigarettes, no beds, no separate facilities for men and women; you do your business in a ditch that gets flushed twice a day with a firehose. Koppelmeister says there's going to be twenty or thirty people in there each summer, from May through September. I think he really intends it to silence any political troublemakers."

     When the camp opened, no one had yet been sentenced to the facility. But on August 3, before Meyer was to file a civil rights suit with in Bremer County Court, he was arrested on charges of drunken driving and faced being the camp's first inmate. Shortly before his arraignment, however, Greater Maple Avenue Reich Superintendent of Public Security, Wilt Garner, publicly announced that the Rehabilitation Camp had been closed. Garner stated that due to numerous violations of OSHA safety codes as well as being a residential facility in an area zoned for industrial use, the camp's future was as of yet, undetermined.

     Both Koppelmeister and Brown were unavailable for comment.