Munterville Man Fills Wife With Cement

     According to Munterville Police, the ER incident frightened the 49 year old folklorist into persuading his wife to try an old folk remedy which involved drinking a slurry of quicklime. Unfortunately, Oscar made a concoction using Portland cement which is used to patch concrete swimming pools and administered eight ounces of this mixture every five minutes.

     Adelaide's physician, Dr. Hunter Yeager, remarked that "(Oscar) didn't know the difference between Quicklime and Portland cement. It's highly caustic; every time he gave her some, she threw it up. Since they thought it was still her stomach distress making her vomit, he kept giving it to her just the same."

     After three hours of this exhausting and painful ordeal, Adelaide slept. It was thirty minutes later when Oscar discovered she having trouble breathing and summoned paramedics. She underwent emergency surgery at GvP Medical Center. Dr. Yeager cut open her stomach and removed three and a half pounds of hardened cement cast in the shape of her stomach and esophagus.

     "The cement hardened inside her stomach and esophagus to the point it restricted her diaphragm's movement and inhibited her breathing," Dr. Yeager explained. "She's breathing on her own now and is on intravenous fluids. We don't know how much of the cement made it into her lower bowel and it will be sometime before she can eat anything solid."

     Dr. Yeager added that Adelaide's initial gastric distress was probably psychosomatically associated with last month's Emergency Room incident. GvP Medical Center has expressed an interest in buying the stomach cast which was described by a hospital spokesperson as being of "highly detailed quality".