Koppelmeister Fires Astrologer

Bremer: While Iowa Gubernatorial Candidate and Leader of the Greater Maple Avenue Reich, Werner Koppelmeister, has publicly denied having any interest in astrology or the occult, reliable sources have confirmed that he has terminated the consulting services of Ms. Silvia Buckley, a Mentor psychic and astrologer.

     According to the source, who requested anonymity, Koppelmeister employed Buckley in his so-called Reich's Occult Ministry after she presented the Greater Maple Avenue Reich Leader with a series of astrological predictions whereby she showed him winning Iowa's Governor race this fall and the September 1, 1999 annexation of Southern Minnesota. Buckley based her predictions on the position of a very small, very faint star in the constellation of Scorpio and its proximity to Jupiter.

     However, when the very small, very faint star fell out of its place in the sky and proved to be none other than the ill-fated Galaxy Four communications satellite, Koppelmeister angrily dismissed Buckley. He has reportedly shut down the Reich's Occult Ministry, and recently declared during a radio interview that "...such pursuits sap the Purity of Essence from our Will, and become crutches to prop-up paunchy soft-minds!"