Passionate Spring Beleaguers GvP Campus Police

> Cedar: Perhaps it was the unseasonably sultry nights last month. Possibly it may have been a side effect of ozone generated by a number of fierce thunderstorms that jolted the area. Or perhaps the full moon, chilled Chablis, and violet eyes to die for...

     Georg von Podebrad Campus Police are at a loss to explain some 95 seemingly unrelated arrests of passionate couples engaged in indecent and amorous behavior on campus grounds during Finals Week, May 22 through 26. During that time, according to Campus Police records, a total of 202 men and women were arrested in various areas of the campus and charged with indecent behavior and indecent exposure. Though police usually responded to complaints about an amorous couple, several occasions saw police arresting groups of people. One case involved 12 individuals in the flowerbeds in front of Old Main.

     Head of the College Office For Public Safety, Martin Boorman, remains puzzled by the apparent randomness of the incidents and can only scratch his head in wonder. Because the trysts were widely scattered through out the campus, finding a common thread has proved elusive.

     Explains Boorman, "We've questioned each person very extensively to find out if they were part of some big prank, like that nude soccer game over at Luther College every spring, but we've haven't found any thing that was organized. Those who we arrested were very embarrassed about being caught---and the one orgy case seems to have been completely spontaneous."

     A spokesperson for GvP College Groundskeeping meanwhile added that the flower beds in front of Old Main were so badly disturbed that they had to be replanted.