Downsville Militia Modernizes

submitted by Colonel Ardenti

Pottawattamie: Last month the Downsville Chapter of Iowa's Men of Freedom upgraded its equipment considerably. The rag tag unit received a grant in for an undisclosed sum from a wealthy and unnamed interest in Hopkins Grove.

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Entrance to the Donwsville Militia Ranch.
     The funding allowed the group's leader, Lt. Comdr. Gordon Baedeker to implement encryption technologies at its headquarters protecting its website and copy machine from outside spies, and to obtain very high quality surplus vehicles.

     To celebrate the acquisitions the group invited the whole of Downsville to "come on down to the ranch" for a "Military Expo and Bar-b-que Bash". Residents saw the equipment close up and enjoyed tasty bar-b-qued pork.

     Local townspeople and farmers alike rode around on the "troop transports", sat in the M-1A1 tank, and fired semiautomatic rifles at target silhouettes of a variety of potential adversaries. Targets included space aliens, a Bigfoot, looters, and "jack booted thugs". My favorite event was the lecture given by Lt. Comdr. Baedeker himself on the difficulties in ejecting from a damaged helicopter during urban and rural assaults.

     In addition to "Dunk the Sergeant", there was a dog-tag toss game, cotton candy, and live music. I was in attendance and found the entire affair to be both happy and patriotic. In particular I enjoyed watching the young children lining up to have their faces painted in camouflage colors.

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Learning make-up for combat, this young lady gets in on the fun at the Iowa Men of Freedom Bar-B-Que.
     For the older children there was an obstacle course with prizes awarded for the best performances. Prizes ranged from imitation Medals of Valor, to hunting knives engraved with the name of the winner. BB guns were awarded to all who participated. Prizes were donated by Charlie Hotz of Zoar, Iowa, and Rohm Sporting Goods of Downsville.

     Despite the carnival atmosphere there was an undercurrent of concern among the older revelers. It was scant 7 months ago that the unit discovered their copy machine had been altered to secretly fax any document they copied at the Headquarters. No one has yet been able to ascertain to whom the information was being faxed (see: Downsville Militia Reports Wire Tap, March, 1997, vol. 4, Issue #3) Further, was engaged in action against what had at first appeared to be an extraterrestrial craft but was later discovered to be property of the US Department of Defense (see: U.S. Department Of Defense Mum Over Exercise In Downsville, February, 1997. vol. 4, Issue #2). These unusual Americans have been facing unusual adversaries to say the least.

     I asked Lt. Comdr. Baedeker about the grant. He was evasive on the matter of the benefactor, but he did tell me something very interesting. "The equipment upgrade comes at a time when all free men and women are feeling their freedoms slipping through their fingers...being handed away to duly elected tyrants who don't give us any more thought than a pork farmer does his pigs. We have seen some strange things...and when you can't turn to the politicians, you can't turn to the police, you can't turn to the armed forces, then you have to rely on your own. That is what we are doing here. We have had some troubles here with surveillance, yes, and we have had some fire fights with technologies our government shouldn't even have! Your magazine reported on that thing that flew down on us, and you treated us with respect, and that is why I am submitting to this interview, Colonel Ardenti."

     I corrected him on the pronunciation of my name and thanked him for the kind comments about Third Eye. He continued, "Okay, well, I started to monitor you publication. I got a subscription. And I seen in there last month that article you wrote on Area P-21. That was real brave, Colonel, that was taking your life into your own hands to report on something like that. We have been watching that facility since the 70's when the government first started hauling up dirt and trucking in concrete for their underground base that they won't even admit is there. We have sought every major new media to expose this criminal use of our tax dollars but, we have been met with only ridicule and scorn. The mainstream media is the Government's own Disinformation Division. Well, when you wrote that article, I knew we were going to be able to be in a better position to protect our fellow citizens in Wheeler." (See: Colonel Ardenti's Conspiracy Corner, August, 1997, vol. 4, Issue # 8.)

     The Lt. Comdr. had used my article as supporting documentation in his grant proposal to the moneyed interest in Hopkins Grove. The money, he said, was given to upgrade the only fire wall between the New World Order troops and Alien Entities kidnapping American Citizens in that county.

     Many consider Militias to be hate groups, consumed by hatred and paranoidal fear of the government. They cite underground bases, Executive Orders that empowers FEMA to round up gun owners and put them in concentration camps, satellite manipulation of weather patterns, and a conspiracy to engage in technology exchange with extra-terrestrials for human body parts as evidence of dementia.

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Local retirees enjoy an afternoon drive
in the back of a new militia truck.
     However, it is only too clear to those with eyes to see that these patriots are perhaps the most clear headed of us all.

     The Downsville Militia formed about 10 years ago with the help of Beau Grist, head of the National Men Of Freedom, and Charlie Hotz, Director of the Iowa Chapter. Grist was reached for comment by phone.

     "America got a wake up call with Ruby Ridge, and with Waco. They hit the snooze alarm both times, and they are doing it again with P-21. What we got in Iowa is a group of valiant Americans who won't put up with being experimented on by aliens or with having the Federal government extending its power to control its people, and turn American Citizens into agricultural products for off-worlders."

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A brand new transport truck is unloaded as happy militia members cheer. Why is the name of their benefactor a closely guarded secret?
     Lt. Comdr. Baedeker went further, "I'm not student of the Constitution, hell, I barely graduated high school, but I do know that document is supposed to guarantee some essential liberties. All the government does is take away civil liberties. They don't have the right, but somehow they generated the power." Baedeker has testified before Congress on the issue of weather manipulation technologies, and as he did there, he emphasized to me that the Downsville Militia is not a racist organization, but it is a speciesist group. They have no plans to kill anyone human. This is specifically written into their charter.

     "The Framers of the Constitution envisioned a Militia System for this country," said Hotz, owner of Zoar's one stop shopping place for used cars, guns, and monuments. "And Iowa's Farmers want one too. Similar to what they got over in Switzerland. It is time to revive the constitutional militia, as a substitute for bureaucratic inaction, criminal action by jack-booted thugs, and as a check on abusive government. Without it, these government officials and space aliens are just like a fox in the chicken coop".

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Targeting jackbooted thugs, Charlie Hotz, Director of the Iowa Chapter of Men of Freedom, prepares his squad for an assault demonstration.
     The participants at the Barbecue generally seemed to agree with the organizers. Across Iowa we find that citizens no longer have confidence in local law enforcement to protect us. In fact, most are afraid of these gun toting "guardians" of public safety, who have the legal right to discharge weapons with no repercussion so long as sufficient justification of suspicion can be offered to the attorney general's office. One man I spoke with seemed to sum the whole thing up by saying between bites of his buttered corn on the cob, "Well, the way I see it, it is an us and them proposition. Here in Downsville we don't know who all of the Them is, but we sure as hell know who the Us are. And now we got us a real good tank and some high quality surplus. I feel safer already."

    





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